Ghosted
I thought I made a friend last week. We exchanged some emails and she seemed interested in our conversation. She was asking a lot of questions and responding to what I was saying. For me, great conversation is the best. I was enjoying it, even though it was just through emails. But this week, she ghosted me. I am not exactly sure what happened. It is possible that my email wasn’t received. It was a little disappointing, but I don’t have the energy to chase after people I have only been talking to for a week, lol.
Ghosting
Ghosting is someone breaks off all contact with you suddenly. It is usually used in the context of dating but it can be applied in other areas as well (friends and family).
Example: We went on a few dates, and everything was going well. But then he ghosted me, and I haven’t heard from him since.
The term ghosting started to be used in this way starting in the 2000s. Merriam-Webster traces it back to 2006. It is an allusion to a ghost. It is not a real thing. It may look like a person, but there is nothing there. In 2014, Hannah VanderPoel created a parody of Gangster’s Paradise called “Ghoster’s Paradise.” She came up with the song after her friend complained about a guy who never called her back. She said that he wasn’t there; like he was a ghost. The song was a viral hit. Ghosting received a lot of press in 2015 when Charlize Theron publicly acknowledged that she broke up with Sean Penn by ghosting him. Ghosting was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary in 2017.
I think ghosting is a relatable term for a lot of people In a YouGov poll, 25% of respondents said they had been ghosted by a friend. Statistics released from Plenty of Fish (dating site) claimed that 78% of single millennials had been ghosted at least once. In relationships, ghosting has been linked to how the person feels about the future with the person.
Lose One, Gain Two
But don’t feel bad for me. This week I also got a message from a friend that I haven’t heard from in a few months. She was my physiotherapist while I was recovering from my leg injury. I always get a good feeling from her, but her English level is very low. It is difficult to have a conversation and it is usually the same thing every time. The language barrier makes things difficult. It is a lot of work for me. The person who ghosted me was an excellent conversationalist, so it was much easier to talk with her. Also, just before I wrote this post, another friend that I haven’t heard from in a while sent me a message. Her busy time at work just finished, so maybe we will hang out soon.
See Also: Fair-weather friend, Love Languages, SIMP, Beauty Fades
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Reference:
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/where-does-the-term-ghosting-come-from-hannah-vanderpoel-created-it-because-shes-been-there-17982262
http://static1.1.sqspcdn.com/static/f/984219/27801907/1516117830787/Freedman_Powell_Le_Williams_JSPR_In_Press.pdf?token=j1T1pjkNrI8QHaW9iifZg%2BgTplo%3D
https://blog.pof.com/2016/03/pof-survey-reveals-80-millennials-ghosted/
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/ghosting-words-were-watching
https://today.yougov.com/topics/politics/survey-results/daily/2021/10/21/d8eca/2